He sighed, disgusted at himself and at the same time lusty for Rock again. Rock, that impossible vision of a man. Rock, the towering, tan, barrel-chested, alpha-male than Alan knew he could only dream of having. Fantasizing of him for the rest of his life. Which he had found out last night would never end, as long as no physical harm came to him. But these thoughts of hopelessness were quickly shut out by his feelings of lust and need for comfort in the arms of Rock. Of course, there was only one way he could summon Rock. He needed his dildo.?There?s something I never thought I?d think.? Alan squeaked in his mousy, 6-year-old-girl voice. He crawled around on the mammoth bed, looking everywhere he could for that tiny pink dildo. The one no bigger than a thumb and no longer than 5 inches, but the one relative to Alan?s size, that was like plunging 10 inches into his teeny vagina. And that?s how Alan imagined Rock, hung like a horse. ?Oh, Rock.? Alan whimpered. ?Why can?t you be. He thinks I’m spoiled. Just because I didn’t grow up where he did. As if my life were a bed of roses. He constantly called me a geek, a punk and a loser. He suspected me of being gay or bisexual because I preferred reading books to chasing big-booty ghetto sluts like a certain male relative of mine. My mother, Helen Joseph Saint-Marc is a tall, square and strict-minded Haitian woman. The prototypical Haitian mother, she is diabolically clever, tender-yet-ferocious at times, and loves God and her offspring more than life. She came to America from Cap-Haitien, Haiti, in the summer of 1986 at the age of twenty two, and attended Northeastern University. She earned herself a Master’s degree in business, but quickly found out she didn’t like the business world. These days, she teaches business at Bay State College. I’m not her favorite in the family. Far from it. And she let me know this every day of my life. She told me once that she considered aborting me but the doctors didn’t recommend.
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